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DRUMMER, MUSIC HEALER, PERSONAL DEVELOPER
M Y LIFETIME
SHORT SUMMARY OF MY PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL PATH
I was born in the center of Lima, Peru. My mother had to finish a job and she locked herself in her office with contractions so they wouldn't force her to go to the clinic. When she ended she went at full speed and as soon as she arrived I was born as a rocket. My parents named me Illari, which in quechua means "dawn light".
My parents finally divorced when I was 3 years old. My mom told me that I used to put their hands together when I was learning how to walk.
At the age of 6, my classmates started bullying me for being fat. They used to put bedbugs on my chair and do physical harm.
When I was 10 years old I asked myself why there were no female drummers in my school? And that's how I decided to start playing this instrument. I have to say, my feminist side was encourage by my mother.
I also started to compose on that year my own songs with flute.
When I was 12 years old I experienced my first sexual abuse. For 3 years 3 different men abused and I couldn't say anything. The same year I started to write poems as a personal resource to express all my emotions.
At the age of 13 I started drums and guitar lessons in a Contemporary Music Academy.
I had more motivation to practice in that rock music environment.
2006 - I
I started psychological therapy after cutting myself several times and running away from home. I stayed 7 years in therapy and began to take pills after being diagnosed as bipolar.
2006 - ii
My eating disorder as a bulimic began.
I was for the next 5 years with ups and downs. When my mother found out she threatened me to take me to the asylum.
I started to be frigid. I couldn't feel my body and I couldn't lubricate anymore.
In my last school year I started being the first in the class, I stopped studying during that year to dedicate more hours for my drum practice. Although, I finished being inside of the top third. I decided to be a drummer as a professional.
2009 - i
When I was 17 years old, I appeared for the first time in a national magazine being recognized as a good drummer after played in an Iron Maiden Tribute.
2009 - ii
The well known female band "Area 7" call me to be the new official drummer and to record the new album 188.8.131.52.
2010 - i
For the first time I debuted with area 7 live in a concert and did my first drum solo.
2010 - ii
I turned 18 and the first thing I thought when I blew out the candles was that I was no longer going to be able to denounce my abusers
2010 - iii
I got pregnant and made an abortion. I felt guilty for a whole year. I thought I was the murderer of my own son, then I understood that it was a social mental construction and I was able to forgive myself.
When I was 19 years old I began to explore touching myself. I wanted to experience and orgasm, for 5 years of sexual activity I had never been able to feel anything.
2012 - i
I was a finalist in a worldwide drumming contest for female drummers named "Hit Like a Girl" and an all-girl band from United States called me to tour with them. With my father's support I travel to play with them and to start my studies at Berklee College of Music. At that point in my life I felt all my dreams were coming true.
2012 - ii
My life took a 180 degree turn and I got pregnant again. This time I decided to have her and to abandon my music career. When I told my mother that I was going to have this child I took the opportunity to tell her about my sexual abuses.
My daughter was born and I decided to study Professional Photography as my new career.
I was hired at a school as a music teacher and continued to play with Area 7.
I started a toxic relationship and allowed physical and psychological aggression for the next 3 years.
I began to volunteer in a non-profit organization named Warmi Rock Camp, which is part of the Girls Rock Camp International Alliance. The goal is to empower girls and adolescents through music. After 2 years I was invited to be part of the group management. I left my band "Area 7" for good.
2018 - I
Working as a photographer in a wedding I saw the priest who sexual abbused me when I was 12 years old. At the next day I decided to make a public denounce telling everything. My family found out.
2018 - ii
I founded my music school "Fuga" and started a new love relationship.
2019 - I
I made my tesis about the priest and went through a new healing process with this artistic way of self expression.
2019 - II
My deepest breakdown started. Didn't know who I was anymore and had a strong resentment with myself for abandon my music career and feeling I wasn't good enough. Unconsciously I blamed my daughter for that for years and felt guilty about it. I also was resentful with my mother and once I tried to hit her. That moment shocked me and I told myself that it was time to start therapy.
For reducing costs during the pandemic my boyfriend and I decided to move in together. I went through a new nightmare of jealousy and disrespect. I was emotionally devastated and after a lucid dream telling me to move to a country house in Cusco to reorder my life I listened to it and left everything.
2021 - 1
I found a little house made of wood in the middle of a mountain without anybody around me. After one month I saw my ex boyfriend in the same little town, he had move in too. For 6 months he made me psychological and physical violence.
2021 - ii
Although I started plant medicine therapy in 2018 with an Ayahuasca retreat. This year I decided to take this therapy with more confidence and awareness. It let me heal my inner child and my relationship with myself, my daughter and my mother. I could faced my deepest shadows and fears ended in a new state of forgiving and loving myself.
2021 - iii
I got this message of the Universe;
"La Mujer Tambor: purpose of life"and found myself. Since that moment I never doubt of my drummer path again. I also started to work with drums in my women's circle using it as a powerful tool of personal development and empowerment. I created the first group MUJERES TAMBOR in Cusco.
I found in Lima the other group Mujeres Tambor and made the first 4 days retreat.
I decided to study music again and got a scholarship for studying in Berlin, Germany.
In September I moved to Berlin and kept doing my women's circle.
I was also invited to play drums in ecstatic dances and to go to Goa's Festival in India for playing and to giving my women's circle there.
To be continued...
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